have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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