sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
