Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize