He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
