just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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