so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
