my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
