i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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