she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
