I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
