idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
