We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
