hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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