Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
