So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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