My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
did i walk over a car last night?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
