ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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