at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
