"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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