She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
