This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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