oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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