My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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