Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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