he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize