oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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