she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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