I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
