dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize