they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
