i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
