i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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