I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
