My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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