New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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