i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize