either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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