There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
