There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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