He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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