What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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