Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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