i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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