so that wasnt chicken after all
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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