I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
