I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
