I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
