she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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