Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
