since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
