My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
