We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
