someone get that fucking seahorse.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
