White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
