Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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